Tuesday, May 4, 2010

It's no lie

Running to Target with four kids is more exhausting than taking apart the deck. Or maybe it's just a different type of exhausting.

Obviously I was slightly off my rocker to even attempt such a feat but that's beside the point.

I pulled into the Target parking lot, unbuckled, turned around and found four dirty faces grinning back at me. Shoot. I forgot the wipes. I scrounge around looking for something, anything to wipe off some of the mess. I refuse to resort to the lick-my-fingers-then-wipe-their-faces routine when it comes to boogers. I swiped at their faces, not making much of a difference and then lead my ducklings into the store.

They, of course, want the "limo cart". Not wanting to have to worry about crowd control and keeping four little bodies all in one place, I agree. Problem: Where to put Baby? There is no buckle or leg openings in the seat in the cart. Not wanting to start off our shopping session with a fight by making one of the toddlers walk, I decide to put her in the back where all the goods go. (Pushover, aren't I?)

We make our way to the shoes. Mission? Church sandals for the girls. My 2 yr old is perfectly content with the sandals I picked out for her ("Just like Addy's.", she says pleased as punch). Not so with my 5 yr old.

"Mom, I really really want these ones." pointing to a pair of 3 inch heels covered with bling and no toe catcher.
"Sorry Sweets. You can't even stay upright with your bare feet. How do you expect to be able to wear those?"
"Who cares? I'll just walk slowly. Look at them! They're so pretty!"
"Yes, they are. But no, I refuse to buy them for you." (Mean, but practical Mom here. Now if they had been cheaper, I may have been talked into them..but I know she won't wear them.)

She flops down on the floor with her arms crossed, her bottom lip sticking out far enough to perch 3 blackbirds. Meanwhile, I catch of glimpse of Baby tossing her own shoes overboard. (Darn velcro!) I swoop down to rescue her shoes while giving my 5 year old the ultimatum. Upon realizing my threat is a real one, she "settles" for another pair. (By the time we left the store, she had forgotten all about the bling.)

We head to the toddler clothes to see if there are any cheap clothes. My baby helps me "shop", pulling clothes off hangers left and right while saying "Oh cute!" and "Here.". I frantically try to put her mess back together while trying to appear calm, cool and collected. We are so outta this section.

Making our way to the girls's section to look for shirts for the 5 yr old, I spy one with a price of less than $2. Perfect. I show it to her only to have her shake her head at it. "It has a lion on it," she says, "girls don't wear lions." It's pointless to try talk her into it because I know it'll just end up going into the dirty clothes and being washed all summer long without being worn once. This is exactly why I don't shop for her clothes when she's along. If I bring something home for her, she'll wear it no problem. If she's with and I buy something she doesn't like...nope, she'll refuse to wear it. Sigh. That trait must come from her father's side. ;)

At this point Baby decides she's had enough shopping and makes her presence known by letting loose several ear splitting screeches. As all the other shoppers race for the ear plugs section, I frantically search for her pacifier before realizing she had sent it overboard without any of us catching it. (Of course, the only pacifier I could find on my way out the door that morning was the one without the string attached.) Making a wide, really wide, right turn with the limo, we make our way back to the baby section to get a new pack of pacifiers. Ahhh. Silence is golden.

While madly sucking on a pacifier, she still lets us know she's ready to be done by tossing anything she can get her hands on onto the floor. I'm sure we made quite the scene....Speed walking Mom driving limo, Baby tossing items on floor, 5 yr old following behind bent over in half picking things up off the floor while trying to keep up with limo and still hold onto her sandals. Thankfully the other two sitting in the cart were still occupied admiring the 2 yr old's new sandals.

What was I going to get from this side of the store? I no longer have my list. It was a victim of Baby. (Whoever finds it, will you please purchase the rest of the items and bring them to my house? Thanks.)

We pause to change seating assignments with the 2 yr old and Baby switching spots as my cell phone rang. Hubby on his lunch break. I breathlessly answer the phone and he asks how my day is going. I give the rundown and he gets a good chuckle. Thanks. Glad I made someone's day. I do feel better though after talking to him. Not so frazzled.

Enough is enough. Baby is done. Mom is done. List is gone. Time to throw the towel in.

Thankfully the new sandals are a distraction when we get to the checkout line. Not one of them begged for candy or gum. Phew. Now there's a plus!

I make it thru the exit doors without smashing the limo into any security posts or doors, (another plus) and the wind sweeps us out to the 'Burb. I unload the ducklings and bags of goods, buckle everyone up and collapse into my seat. Whew! I'm getting too old for this! (heehee. Just kidding. I couldn't resist adding that.)


jessica said...

ahh yes indeed. you are a brave woman! great visual...made me laugh out loud! :)

Ruthanne said...

Sounds familiar. I always wonder why I do it (but somedays amazingly go very smoothly! :)) At least you didn't have three in the back of the cart where the goods are supposed to go, hit a crack in the parking lot and over goes your cart. I was mortified! Thankfully nobody got hurt too badly!

jen said...

Gotta hand it to you...I stopped shopping with more than 2 (ok, maybe 3) after the incident in Walmart a few short years ago...the one with the squalling newborn, the hide and seek game and the paint spill.